Imposter Syndrome (Izzy) Spilling Tea With Me

Imagine my shock when Izzy decided to come and hang out with me. She did not come with her normal announcements — sick to my stomach, sweaty palms, frog in my throat — the normal signs of coming into my new normal. This time she slid up to me like we are good friends and said, “I know you’ve been talking about me with the Purpose Peeps, tell them I have some tea to spill.”

I’m speechless because we all know that spilling tea means revealing hidden truths. This is one of those rushed relationships in which you don’t quite know how to respond. I thought, “she’s punking me,” but then to whose benefit because I’m pretty sure I am the only one in the room hearing this.

The last time Izzy and I spoke and had our meeting of the minds we decided that since she’s not going anywhere and I am headed to Purposeville or bust, we may as well accept one another. She blew my mind when she revealed her true intention and I responded by committing to shifting my mindset in kind. Admittedly, this is still a work in progress.

I decided, yes, Izzy, I want to sip the tea you’re spilling, and I will share it with the Purpose Peeps because I think she likes that. Izzy takes a deep breath and I think, “what have I gotten myself into?”

“Dee (we’re on nickname status), what I want you and the Purpose Peeps to understand about me is that I diminish as the focus shifts from you to your service. When the focus is on you, you hear thoughts like I am not enough. Or, I can’t do this or that. Or why am I even doing this?

But when the focus is on service, you realize you can only serve well from what you have. If you focus on serving well from what you have, you are so present in the experience that I am there, but you do not sense or respond to me. When you practice duality serving in an area that’s new to you and an immediate need you realize I am there, but the Purpose Peeps are the ones who serve anyway.

And Dee let them know that you can be a guide and learn at the same time. Just be honest about when you switch hats. People will love you for your honesty and they will journey with you. The people who can’t are not your people. Dee, close your mouth before you spill your tea.

One more thing, Dee, and you may want to sit down for this one. I inform your true why. If there is still residue from proving worthiness or trying to prove someone from your past wrong, I reveal that. It’s one of my favorite things to do because as you become more impactful, those old patterns will run interference. At some point, Purpose Peeps will have to put down the old motivators and completely embrace their true why. For this reason, I am really a purpose partner who shines the light on those areas. How ya like me now?

You handled that well, Dee. Next time I come; I’m going to spill the tea about my cousin fear. Now that we’ve moved beyond the noise of what I’m supposed to be, we can get to the truth of what and how my family and I inform.”

And just like that Izzy is gone again.

Dena Wiggins is a Transformational Author, MBA Resultant, and Certified Purpose Coach. She takes an unwavering stand for your purpose. Dena unlocks purpose in sparked Purpose Peeps who transform businesses and organizations into lighthouses that shine solutions that transform our world. Stay connected, join the conversation, take inspired action. Learn more at

Author, Purpose Coach, Resultant & Speaker who creates tools that unlock purpose clarity in people & orgs who deliver results that matter

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store